I recently purchased a four-CD set on “Be a No Limit Person”. What I found so inspiring and at the same time very challenging was how to be in control of oneself instead being defined by the environment. Oh, we can still complain about everything from the cold weather to the challenging economy. Beyond that, however, Wayne Dyer is saying to be optimistic and control your own well-being by having a positive attitude.

It is much easier to walk around with the gloom and doom attitude. It takes effort to self-talk into control of the outcome. Having a positive attitude will be better for your health and at the same time you will draw folks to you who want to be around you. If you continue to worry and predict the worst, it will happen.

You can purchase the CD at Amazon or go to You Tube to listen to Wayne Dyer on “Be a No Limit Person”.

I am always pleasantly surprised by great customer service. Great customer service is when you as the consumer are respected and the issue is solved immediately and with ease. Recently, I ordered a product from Amazon and it was missing some parts.

I went to the issues and returns section of Amazon’s website and chose to have a chat about it. I confess I was thinking they would give me a problem.The customer service person gave his name and handled the problem immediately with no indication that he felt I was not being truthful. Amazon also sent a script of the discussion for my records!

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if a key element of everyone’s professionalism was that we treat everyone as a number our one customer and client?We listen to the issue and refrain from being critical or defensive while solving the problem to the customer’s satisfaction, just like the folks at Amazon, Costco or Nordstrom. If we all did this, each of us would truly be considered a five star professional.

A recent article in the New York Times featured Brandee Parker who was once head of marketing for Facebook. In the piece, Ms. Parker talks about the time she and a colleague brought a black suit for her boss, Mark Zuckerberg, to wear on his first trip to Davos, Switzerland, for the annual meeting of the World Economic Forum. They thought that the occasion called for more than Zuckerberg wearing his usual hooded sweatshirt.

Mark never wore the suit. Instead, he put on his Patagonia sweatshirt. (And we are all not Mark Zuckerberg or a CEO of a Fortune 100 company.)

However, I agree wholeheartedly with Brandee.

This does not mean that if I like to wear leggings and an oversized sweater that those clothing choices are appropriate in a business setting. There are many choices today. In fact, a nice pair of slacks and jacket can provide the same comfortable feeling as a sweatshirt.

When I have garnered the respect capital then maybe the leggings will be appropriate. (I saw that Sheryl Sandberg wore them stage for a presentation showcased on the TV show, 60 Minutes. She certainly has the respect capital.) Also, I have learned if my clothing does not feel comfortable and keep me true to myself, then I think twice before moving ahead. I give the same advice to my clients.

Men have an advantage women don’t have— gray hair can look distinguished on them. I understand in today’s world anyone over 30 is considered old which is why, to look younger, men can be tempted to color their hair. In some cases men even perm their hair (You see Bradley Cooper in American Hustle wearing curlers!).

First of all, men’s hair does not take color or perms as naturally as women’s hair does. Nothing is worse than men having bad fake hair color. It creates an air of artificial presence. It can also defeat the purpose and make men look older. Men’s hair also does not take perms too well. Perms tend to produce a Brillo pad look.

We all have an inherent communication style– it is how we are wired.

It can adapt and even grow organically when you surround yourself with folks whose approach is different than yours. For example, if you tend to be an introvert, work with someone who is a natural extrovert. If you have a task oriented work style, bring folks in who are more strategic. Watch how they approach situations. Take note of the way people interact with them. Use their interactions as a guide to stretch yourself to become a more rounded and aware communicator.

The General Social Survey from University of Chicago social scientists, is considered the scholarly gold standard for understanding social phenomena. Regarding happiness, their numbers have been remarkably consistent.

They suggest that a key element to happiness occurs when people are able to marry their passion to their work skills. This helps bring value to their lives. As Franklin D. Roosevelt said “Happiness lies not in the mere possession of money; it lies the joy of achievement, the thrill of creative effort.”

This passion cannot be manufactured.

A true professional tips those who provide good service, especially in the situations that are repeated. My rule of thumb is as follows:

20% for dining and personal services and at least two to three dollars for the car service and the airport baggage handler.

During the holidays, the tip should be the amount of one service charge. For example, if your manicurist charges $20 dollars then the tip should be $20. These are the folks who make your life easier and tipping is great way to show your appreciation for what they do.

The holidays can be a wonderful time if one can manage the stress of trying to get too much done. Appearing and feeling rattled could take the joy out of this wonderful time.

These are a few things I consider to ensure I will enjoy this season:

1. Do not over schedule, Steven Covey says to allow time in a day for the unexpected.

2. When you are faced with a lack of time to complete a task, complete it on another day.

3. Taking deep breaths really helps when you find yourself in a stressful moment.

4. This is very important: do one at least one thing each day that brings you joy. For me it is in the morning when I hug my dog and make plans to have lunch or dinner with a friend to celebrate the holidays.

Some folks have a natural smile and it comes easily. Then, there are folks like yours truly who needs to be made aware of smiling. You can pretty much tell by my eye and head movements that I am engaged. But for many, it’s the facial expressions that reveal all.

Today, we had a situation where one person kept pushing on a subject and other person responded that the topic was not negotiable. At first, the dialog was conversational. It turned when senior person’s dead pan facial expression and stiffness in the body language became visible.

The other person kept the subject alive until the senior person said, “Note my facial expression and body language. You should be aware that you are not reading my message.”

The other facial expression is the poker face. Most folks perceive this means that the person does not want to be engaged and/or is bored.

The key to successful engagement is based on what your eyes and facial expressions say.

In last Sunday’s New York Times there was a piece by the Ethicist: Why is it important to treat people how they want to be treated versus treating them the way you would want to be treated?

It all comes down to understanding communication styles. So many times, messages are not received because folks resist adapting to a way of communicating that is different than their own.

The Platinum Rule, which is to treat others the way they want to be treated, is critical to win/win communications. I realized this a few years ago in communicating with my sisters. Once I understood their communication preference, I found it much easier to have a dialog under stressful situations. Visit www.personalimagesinc.com to learn more about the Platinum Rule.