1. Not having several personal introductions

2. Not having an ice breaker to start the conversation

3. Not having a business card

4. Not mixing with more than one group (or staying too long in conversation with one group)

5. Not listening enough (non-stop talking)

6. Not asking how, when and why questions

7. Not having a good time (projecting a look that reflects stomach pain might be occurring)

8. Not smiling (instead, wearing a more a grim facial expression)

9. Not making eye contact or looking around the room more than at a conversation partner

10. Not having a crisp handshake

Take away the nots and you can be a star at networking. The process will also become more fun.

One of the perks of long term client relationships is that I sometimes end up working with members of client business teams and even with their family. Recently, I was asked to work with a young man who was a grandson of a client (I worked more than 15 years with my client and her staff.).

Andy is quite talented in writing stories and wonderful artist. However, he is shy, could not look people in the eyes, looked down and had a half-limp handshake. To draw Andy out, I first asked about his art. Then, I requested that he show me some of his written work on his I Pad. I also used a few improv exercises to help him have fun when speaking with confidence. I noticed that he loved his dogs so I suggested that he think about them when he gets nervous.

In the book, Outliers, Malcom Gladwell writes about folks like Andy who have talent at very young age, and who keep working and developing to eventually be quite successful. Now, Andy has a head start in being able to communicate about his work. I believe he will be a very successful writer.

Can you imagine an eleven year old writing nonfiction books using animals as characters? How special is that?

How many times have you run out for a short errand in a busy area while not wearing your best? Maybe you’ve got clothes on that are usually worn when cleaning a garage or washing a car? Of course, then, you always run in someone you know. This has happened to me and I have always regretted it.

Now, what I do if I am going to run out in not too great looking clothing is that I put at least a bit of color on my lips and make my hair presentable. I do not want to be mistaken for a bag lady. I figure that when they see my face then maybe my poor clothing choices won’t be noticed!

I was just at the Oakbrook Center and everything was on sale. I find it can be difficult not to buy an item just because it is on sale. I was proud of myself because the only item I purchased was a top that I had been looking for. (Although, I touched several items and even seriously contemplated purchasing them!)

This is what I asked myself when browsing sales, do I have an item in my closet like it? If not, do I have three items to go with it? Also, if I purchase it, what will I remove from my current wardrobe?

The top I did end up purchasing replaced an old one that will be donated to the Good Will.

Eyes can say much more than words. A look can be absorbed even before the person speaks. Samantha, (There’s a picture of her in this blog.) has these amazing eyes that look right through you. She does not talk much but stares and barks when annoyed. Her eyes do all of the heavy lifting.

Capture your look by using the eyes to obtain the effect you desire like effective actors, politicians and business people do. Joy, disappointment, sadness, authenticity and dishonesty and most other emotions are first reflected in the eyes. A good way to learn about the eyes is by watching films, live theatre and television programs.

Recently, I was involved in an incident that I considered embarrassing.

I take one on one training on how to use a Mac Air (going on 15 months, now). Because I’ve been a PC user for 25 plus years, it is a completely new way for me to work on a computer.

Technicians who work with me are really very patient. They never make me feel badly when they have to continually repeat answers. So, I thought it would be a nice gesture to bring a bottle of Apple Ice for my main trainer.

However, when he opened the drink, the soda fizzed all over the table, floor and chairs. Instead of being upset, he laughed and turned what I thought was a disaster into a comical situation. He even said it made his day so much better. How wonderful it is to have this sense of humor. It makes life’s little mishaps that much more tolerable and even, at times, more enjoyable.

Often, a person is passionate about their work but may struggle to express that feeling in words. Clients who select me tend to be passionate about their work but want to be able to translate their passion verbally.

They are diligent, though, in writing what their work is about on paper and, at times, will even interview folks who champion them to help define their motivation.

This is not easy. It takes digging deep and using examples and stories and to explain why their work makes a difference. Step two is to practice by choosing and using impactful words that are easy to say. Bring clarity around the why, how and who. Clients that practice and practice then keep practicing become very capable at verbally expressing their passion.

My do’s and a few don’ts for giving an engaging presentation whether it is for small group of 25 or a group of 250:

• For small audiences – always ask general enough questions to get multiple answers

• For all audiences – use a microphone or a lavaliere (just attended a session – no one could hear the speaker)

• Share a few relative stories and ask for confirmation (Has this happened to you?)

• Move toward the audience when you want to make a point

• Work both sides of the room

• Get the audience to move around at least once per hour

• Always have fun with the audience

• Do not stand in the way of the projector light

• Do not allow your volunteer stay in front of the projector light

Overall, set the presentation up as a win for the speaker as well as the audience. When situations happen, like starting late or dealing with a faulty projector remain calm, flexible and prepared.

Often, I work with high potential women who have a challenging time with senior leaders who are hesitant to move them to the next level because they lack leadership presence.

Recently, in a first time meeting with a senior manager being looked at for a director role, the subject of makeup came up. She indicated she didn’t wear any, especially lipstick.

Lipstick comes in many colors from nude to bright red. Another form of lipstick is tinted with color chap stick like Burt’s Bees which also has a wide range of tints. The price of lipstick ranges from $9.99 to $50.00 (Tom Ford). However, the monetary cost of lipstick is nothing compared to the actual value it can add when appropriately applied.

In my career prior to starting Personal Images, I can honestly say I have worked with more bad bosses than good ones. These are managers who yell, make unreasonable demands and expectations and/or run around like policemen watching your every move.

My experience has been and continues to be, to find a way to navigate around them. This means maintaining a low profile and minding your p’s and q’s. If a boss is completely unreasonable, move to another part of the organization, if possible.

If it is important to your career to stay with this boss, then you must learn to develop a thick skin and learn from this person, meaning all the good things about him/her while trying not to focus on the negative. It is about management and not about winning with this type of manager.