The question comes up about who pays when dining together. A client never really pays. For friends and colleagues, the key is in the invite. The expectation is that the person who extends the invitation pays. However, if some says let’s meet for lunch, it is a shared expense.

Looking the part is the first step and a very important one. It is a combination of what and how something is worn. When an outfit does not fit properly or the color does not flatter you then the choice of the clothing is not appropriate for the occasion.

Look at the leaders in the organization to see what makes their look resonate. This will help you discover what creates the right look for the role.

Recently, a well-known prime time news anchor tried to validate a point with a spokesperson by asking a question about a lie from the spokesperson’s team that appeared on the news. This anchor is known for integrity and has a knack for handling sensitive subjects with the guests on the show.

The spokesperson was a shark, a fast talker employing a high spin level skill at making observations and details sound like facts. The anchor, unfortunately, did not respond well even though he the truth was behind the question.

What I would recommend, is to ask the questions at least three times. Then, instead of doing the cha-cha with the guest, end the conversation on a high note by letting the other person to wallow in their own comments. Don’t swim with the sharks unless you possess some shark skills of your own!

I understand the trend is sleeveless tops and dresses have become more acceptable for business and social occasions even in zero temperatures. Low cut tops are now on the forefront especially with actresses and some news anchors.

However, be careful not to get carried away. Recently at a 4-star, high visibility dining establishment, a patron was wearing a top that barely covered her breasts. It was unflattering because of way too much skin showing and because of the fact that her breasts kept sliding out of the top causing her to constantly try and adjust it! Cleavage can be attractive but only if there is a hint of it.

Recently, I heard a comment about an executive that leadership-wise, he was not runway material. What exactly is runway material? It is someone who enters the room with confidence, poise and an understanding of the audience.

This person intuitively understands the emotional intelligence necessary to make a connection. Once a leader shows senior management s/he are runway material, the path to the C Suite opens wide!

Many times a client or someone from the audience in a workshop will tell me that they have heard a comment about themselves before.  I wonder why they have not taken action on the issue.

It is usually a few things- they don’t believe it or they will get to it sometime which leads to my request to take action in 2017. Go back to the coaching request and begin to develop an action plan on the issue…not a resolution but a plan.

For example, sleeves on a jacket are too long, creating a sloppy look. The plan? Take all of your jackets to the tailor for alternations. Be proactive. Take action. Altering sleeves sounds easy enough but it still can turn into a perceived time strain. Book the time and the place. Once you accomplish one task, you will be energized to do more.

What does staying the course mean? It means deciding what you want to achieve and even when it looks like many obstacles exist, moving toward that achievement.  A client (Sam) wanted to become  president of an organization where he had been a member for more than 20 years. In this organization he served often served as chairman, producing the desired results for each assigned committee task.

I was interviewed to work with Sam but he chose to go with another coach / advisor to run for the position of president. He lost the first year. This made him recognize the many skills and strategies he needed to put in place. I felt strongly about working on these while the other coach did not. I was asked to become involved halfway through the second run which he lost by a few votes.

Sam then ran with three other candidates, all of whom were older. He lost in run off. Anyone else would just settle for another role. Sam finally won against three other candidates proving that he had what it took to stay the course by viewing obstacles as opportunities and always moving toward his goal no matter what, to eventually secure a win.

Lately, we have been hit by the media that political correctness doesn’t matter…that saying what you think is the best approach. I agree with ignoring rudeness from rude folks because taking the high road not to engage seems to be the right thing to do at times. I often wonder, though, if with that approach, we send the message that we are tacitly agreeable. Perhaps, a facial expression showing distaste may send the most appropriate message that we disagree with rudeness, arrogance and untruths.

The New Year is approaching and professional and personal growth occurs when we select a new experience. The challenge is what do you want to accomplish, how will it benefit you and how will you do it?

In my classes, I ask participants to write down a skill they would like to strengthen and ask them to partner with someone in the class. They establish a timetable with this partner and periodically check on the status of progress toward the goal with him / her.

In my experience, having a partner or coach holding you accountable helps move the process along. I have personal trainer I meet twice a week. He is very good at making sure the exercises are done properly. He also holds me accountable to workout. If he did not, I probably would not exercise because business and personal needs always seem to intrude!

Asking someone to hold me accountable keeps me on track which is good for my physical and mental well-being. Would I exercise on my own?  Probably not. As I go into year two, I found that having a coach is critical to achieve my goal of staying healthy.

The holidays are a fun time to be more creative with wardrobe choices including the famous ugly Christmas sweaters. They have become a bold fashion statement to wear on casual days. For those who love the holiday spirit and but might not want to wear the ugly Christmas sweater, opt for wearing holiday colors in accessories, necklaces or a touch in a scarf for women.

Men can add holiday colors in ties or an outer wear scarf. If you chose to wear a Christmas sweater, choose one with one design and color. Try to stay away from printed words or jingles. Santa hats are also fun for weekend wear and parties.