Have you known folks who have the death stare? It’s when someone stares at another with a look that makes you want to shrink down in their seat in terror. (Examples are actors, Kristen Stewart and Sir Patrick Stewart.)  A death stare is different than a poker face. It is more about the eyes that go right through you. Check it out with your friends; ask them what your eyes say. The death stare  has more impact than any words. Use it wisely. (Doris Day never had a death stare while Joan Crawford did.)

Today, I was at the Judicial Courthouse supporting a friend going through a difficult time. In the building, the only folks who can use a cell phone are attorneys. While in the elevator, I noticed a young woman wearing dressy open toe sandals (more for night wear), very worn jeans and a makeshift jacket who tossed hair and shifted her armload of papers and began using her phone. I casually asked, “You must be an attorney? “Yes,” she replied. I was thinking OMG.

When I got off the elevator, I saw that my friends’ attorney was wearing a lightweight dark suit, modern under pining and great ALG flats. She had long hair and was beautifully groomed.

We saw an attorney (with a phone in her hands) on another elevator ride who gave off an air of poise and confidence. I would hire her in a minute.

My friend thought maybe the first attorney I saw was only an associate. That may be true but it is still no excuse; you always want to look like you are ready to take the next step.

Why are we surprised when we see actresses and actors who look short in real life? That’s because on the screen, their clothing has been tailored to scale to give an impression of greater height.

I like to stretch accessory guidelines. I have been told many times that only certain items should be worn on tall folks and short people. For instance, the rule is that a short person should never have cuffs on their slacks. Also, a tie on a shorter man should be worn slightly longer than appear too short. However, I feel that if the proportions are working and the accessories look good, that usually works no matter what the person is wearing.

Stretching the guidelines on accessories can make an outfit truly stand out.

I am probably going to date myself but hot pants with boots were the rage in the 70’s. Are they back? Hot pants featured fabric just two to three inches below the crotch. Today’s young and not so young women are wearing shorts that have no more than an inch of fabric covering their butts. It is not a pretty sight.

In fact, it’s totally inappropriate for business. A young woman was even fired for wearing these very short shorts. She was upset that there was not a dress policy addressing how short these pants should be. (Funny that young men are wearing shorts that hit their knees and hang way too long)

This is one reason why people in other countries see Americans as sloppy.

You may have heard the expression “musical chairs”… well, I have a new one “musical times”. This refers to individuals who continually move times and days for appointments because their schedules constantly change. In addition, folks who do this, never seem to arrive at the designated appointment times anyway.

This is the number one career killer in my mind. Being on time is being respectful and professional. Years ago, I was coaching with a number of account managers. While waiting in the executive dining room for the client, the hostess said while the clients were always on time, it was the managers who were always late.

When you are late, it sends a message your time is more important than the person you are meeting. Recently, I worked with coaching client who was always on time for scheduled appointments. I let her know how impressive it was and that it showed true leadership skills. The client told me that her staff and boss complimented her on it also.

Being on time sends a message you are managing your time effectively which is a the sign of a true professional.

Recently, I was with a client and her staff. The question came up about professional dress: Is it a requirement to wear a tie or can a sport jacket or suit be acceptable without a tie? Sometimes, clients are dressed without a jacket but always in a shirt and tie. What should they wear to always be acceptable and not under or overdressed?

In a first time meeting, always wear a full suit with a tie. If it is a very casual environment, a gray suit or a navy blazer with gray dress slacks can be worn instead. When making a first time presentation, it is suggested to always wear a blazer in very casual settings without a tie. You can always remove your tie or take off your jacket if the environment is very casual.

Walking in the first time in full dress sets the stage that you are the expert. It is more difficult to appear to be the professional if you come in with just a shirt and dress slacks because jackets always project the leader and subject matter expert look.

How many times have you run out for a short errand in a busy area while not wearing your best? Maybe you’ve got clothes on that are usually worn when cleaning a garage or washing a car? Of course, then, you always run in someone you know. This has happened to me and I have always regretted it.

Now, what I do if I am going to run out in not too great looking clothing is that I put at least a bit of color on my lips and make my hair presentable. I do not want to be mistaken for a bag lady. I figure that when they see my face then maybe my poor clothing choices won’t be noticed!

The challenge for wearing tee shirts are that, in general, they are made in very lightweight cotton and can look like athletic and sleepwear.

But, now, Ralph Lauren, Calvin Klein and Donna Karan have them in fine cotton and silk. These shirts do have a dressier and more polished look. However, wearing them makes it very difficult for senior management to police the difference between the very casual cotton and silk materials.

Maybe, the organization could help by allowing one day a week that tee shirts would be allowed. Further guidelines could be that shirts must not have any wording on them and that solid colors work best. Wearing tees with jeans or twill pants would be fine for casual days.

Ladies, do not wear tees with leggings or capris. That is too casual but capris would work for an outdoor event.

A true custom made suit is tailored to your body and has enhanced features to strengthen some of your body’s features. For example, Cary Grant’s suit jackets always had extra pads in the shoulder area to give him better posture.

Following are some characteristics of a classic, trim and extra trim fit:

Classic Cut  Hart Shaffner Marx) See my father pictured. He was always a classic cut.

• Cut wider through the shoulders

• Extra room through the chest and back for ease of movement

• Slightly lower button stance

• Fuller trousers (may have pleats)

• Trousers (have a break)

Trim Cut (Calvin Klein)

• Cut narrower across the shoulders

• Higher armhole

• Trimmer through the chest and waist, with room for movement

• Slim trousers

• No break in the trousers

Extra Trim (Ted Baker)

• Cut slim through the shoulders

• High armhole and narrow sleeves

• Slightly higher button stance

• Extra-slim trouser

To tailor a suit to a trim style:

– Slim the arms of the jacket

– Slim the legs on the pants

– Ensure pants have no break

Often, I work with high potential women who have a challenging time with senior leaders who are hesitant to move them to the next level because they lack leadership presence.

Recently, in a first time meeting with a senior manager being looked at for a director role, the subject of makeup came up. She indicated she didn’t wear any, especially lipstick.

Lipstick comes in many colors from nude to bright red. Another form of lipstick is tinted with color chap stick like Burt’s Bees which also has a wide range of tints. The price of lipstick ranges from $9.99 to $50.00 (Tom Ford). However, the monetary cost of lipstick is nothing compared to the actual value it can add when appropriately applied.