Asking questions is critical to understanding any issue. In order to clarify the question, always begin with the end in mind. What is it that you want to understand? And what is the message in the answer?

Too often, another question gets asked without the questioner completely digesting the previous answer. So, a key to understanding is listening to the previous answer.

Seek to understand then to be understood.

The definition of harmony: “Agreement in feeling or opinion; accord: live in harmony. 2. A pleasing combination of elements in a whole.”

Irene Rosenberg, CEO of Kraft Foods, who was recently recognized for her leadership, spoke about harmony. Everyone is always talking about balance. Sometimes balance does not bring the results you want. Harmony does not necessarily mean balance. However, it does connote a sense of calmness and stability in the situation.

You can’t always have balance but you can strive for harmony in any circumstance.

Recently I was asked to host a webinar on Building Your Brand. Those who have hosted know it can be extremely challenging if you are accustomed to audience interaction. Most webinars will have some participation when the audience sends in questions which helps keep the energy up.
In this particular one there was a dry run which I encourage everyone to have to work out any problems. Practice also helps to develop a relationship with the person or persons responsible for your introduction and managing the technical side of the webinar.

Here are some tips to help manage a successful event as the presenter:

Do:
• Have a practice before the event to talk thru the program.
• Be sure to work out some guidelines with the folks managing the technical side.
• Time the presentation. On air time allotment is pretty unforgiving. If you run over it, folks will be cut off.
• Let the audience know how you will be answering the questions either during or after the talk.
• Answer questions with a positive spin.

Don’t
• Stop your presentation if the visuals are not working. Paint the picture in words.
• Send heavy graphics on your PowerPoint without checking with a technical person first.
• Answer questions not related to the topic. Give the audience another method to contact you with off-subject issues.
• Perform a monologue. Be sure your handouts give the audience a way to participate (quizzes work well).

These tips will help keep the audience engaged and minimize technical problems.

These are the common clothing mistakes that add weight to women.
 
Avoid:
• Pleats on pants, they will add inches to your stomach. 
• Ruffles anywhere because they add volume.
• Bulky fabrics. Chose closely knitted fabrics, instead.
• Wide horizontal stripes – they will make you look wide!
• Wide belts – thin ones are better.
• Raglan sleeves – they will make you look like a football player.

Follow these tips when deciding on your new clothing choices and you will be removing weight from your body shape.

Have you ever selected clothing items because you like the color or the style on the hanger but when you put the clothing on, it does not fit or it makes you look bigger than you are?

Here are some wardrobe tips to enhance your body:

• Top heavy – like a stalk of broccoli. Good choices: tailored jackets and V-neck tops will slim you. Bad choices: fussy tops and big prints.

• Middle heavy –like the cauliflower. Good choices: Wrap style dresses and blouses (blouses ending below your stomach). Bad choices: Short jackets. Stay away from anything that will draw attention to your waist.

• Bottom heavy- like the turnip. Good choices: A-line skirts and maxi style dresses (that flow slightly under your bust). Bad choices: blousy tops and flowing skirts.

When you look in the mirror and the first impression you feel is that it does not look good, don’t buy it. If you are nervous about it, bring a friend who has a good eye.

The question keeps coming up for women – do I have to wear hose?  Of course, the answer is obvious if it is cold outside (around 40 or below), wear stockings. It is when the weather gets very warm, you have nice tan legs and they do not look too fleshy that you can opt not to wear hose.  However, if you are making a major presentation and wearing a skirt, hose would be more appropriate.

The tweet can be your best friend or worst enemy. In today’s 24 to 48 hour new cycle – negative things spread like wild fire. Never tweet when you are emotional and want to share a grievance. Use Twitter to promote positive thoughts. I know some of you want the world to know what you are up to. That’s ok if you always do it in a positive manner.

Too many times pictures of folks on their Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn profiles do not look like them. Your photo needs to be a professional one – not a glamour shot you cannot live up to.

For example, make sure the picture shows you wearing your hair as you usually do. For women, if you typically don’t wear make-up, be sure the photo gives the appearance of natural makeup—not too heavy.

The only item you can fudge is glasses. You don’t need to have a photo with them on if you only wear them occasionally. But I do recommend you eventually have photos taken with glasses if you wear them all the time.

Overall, make sure your online profile picture looks like you.

There are many style shirts for both men and women that can be worn out and look very appropriate. The key is to know when it works professionally.

When going out casually men have worn shirts out as it is the very hip style these days. However, for professional situations the shirt should always be tucked in. For women, wearing a shirt out has become very acceptable. Make sure the length keeps it neat and to the body proportions (above the hip line) and that the shirt cuts straight across the bottom.

In a recent Jay Leno show a Republican presidential candidate was the guest. Jay is an easy interviewer and a moderate Republican so it seemed like the guest should have been comfortable. Instead, he was very wooden and stiff. His posture shouted: I am uncomfortable and not too likable.

Not everyone is going to have a natural ease about themselves. However if you are going be in the public eye, practice and exercise your body so you convey a fluidness and ease in front of the public.

Here a few suggestions:
• If you can take a workshop, I highly recommend an improv class (I took one and it helped me tremendously)
• Stretch before you present or are going to be interviewed
• Take a dance or yoga class

I firmly believe the folks who can appear naturally relaxed in front of an audience practice it. Plus, a few fortunate ones probably began speaking early in front of an audience. Avoid being perceived as wooden. It takes so much work to change that perception.