Many times a client or someone from the audience in a workshop will tell me that they have heard a comment about themselves before.  I wonder why they have not taken action on the issue.

It is usually a few things- they don’t believe it or they will get to it sometime which leads to my request to take action in 2017. Go back to the coaching request and begin to develop an action plan on the issue…not a resolution but a plan.

For example, sleeves on a jacket are too long, creating a sloppy look. The plan? Take all of your jackets to the tailor for alternations. Be proactive. Take action. Altering sleeves sounds easy enough but it still can turn into a perceived time strain. Book the time and the place. Once you accomplish one task, you will be energized to do more.

What does staying the course mean? It means deciding what you want to achieve and even when it looks like many obstacles exist, moving toward that achievement.  A client (Sam) wanted to become  president of an organization where he had been a member for more than 20 years. In this organization he served often served as chairman, producing the desired results for each assigned committee task.

I was interviewed to work with Sam but he chose to go with another coach / advisor to run for the position of president. He lost the first year. This made him recognize the many skills and strategies he needed to put in place. I felt strongly about working on these while the other coach did not. I was asked to become involved halfway through the second run which he lost by a few votes.

Sam then ran with three other candidates, all of whom were older. He lost in run off. Anyone else would just settle for another role. Sam finally won against three other candidates proving that he had what it took to stay the course by viewing obstacles as opportunities and always moving toward his goal no matter what, to eventually secure a win.

Lately, we have been hit by the media that political correctness doesn’t matter…that saying what you think is the best approach. I agree with ignoring rudeness from rude folks because taking the high road not to engage seems to be the right thing to do at times. I often wonder, though, if with that approach, we send the message that we are tacitly agreeable. Perhaps, a facial expression showing distaste may send the most appropriate message that we disagree with rudeness, arrogance and untruths.

The New Year is approaching and professional and personal growth occurs when we select a new experience. The challenge is what do you want to accomplish, how will it benefit you and how will you do it?

In my classes, I ask participants to write down a skill they would like to strengthen and ask them to partner with someone in the class. They establish a timetable with this partner and periodically check on the status of progress toward the goal with him / her.

In my experience, having a partner or coach holding you accountable helps move the process along. I have personal trainer I meet twice a week. He is very good at making sure the exercises are done properly. He also holds me accountable to workout. If he did not, I probably would not exercise because business and personal needs always seem to intrude!

Asking someone to hold me accountable keeps me on track which is good for my physical and mental well-being. Would I exercise on my own?  Probably not. As I go into year two, I found that having a coach is critical to achieve my goal of staying healthy.

What you wear to holiday parties depends on the event itself. For holiday weeknight evening parties it is generally acceptable to go directly from work in business dress. You change an item of clothing to give it a fresh look and feeling.

Weekend evening holiday parties tend to be more formal depending on the location of the event. Women wear cocktail length dresses and men a suit or jacket combination with or without a tie.

Open houses at the home or office of a business associate or a senior leader depends on the hosts. Take direction from their typical clothing styles. If they tend to be more formal, use that as an indicator on clothing choice, do the same if they seem to prefer the casual look. Use these guidelines to help make it easier to decide what to wear for those holiday work-related events!

How do you get ready to mix and mingle especially if you are the shy type? The first rule, before you even step into the event, is to warm up your mouth along with your voice. Wear something you absolutely love, maybe a necklace or for a man, a favorite shirt.  Pick an event that has a fun happening, such as the opening of art gallery or art fair or an interactive cooking demonstration. Talk to the friendliest person in a group of three.

In a recent conversation with a client, the topic of leadership came up. What makes a leader? What does leadership look like? There are many aspects to it. Leadership means doing things including making decisions that are not always easy but are necessary. Another is being able to get things done and not take the credit.

Some leaders are born and others continue to develop skills through work and experience. Recently, I watched the movie, Jaws. The mayor who would not close the beaches had a leadership role but did not make the difficult decisions like a true leader would make. Too often, the folks who have leadership titles are not true leaders.

At a recent wedding I attended, all of the groomsmen wore brown shoes with blue suits. This is not new if you look at old movies, especially those starring my favorite, Cary Grant, who wore brown shoes with his blue suits. The brown shoes add a bit of casual flair and mitigate the seriousness of the suit. The darker the brown, the more serious. A lighter brown adds a relaxed look to the suit. Both shades of brown add elegance to the look.

Today, most of our networking seems to be done via social media. This is due to a lack of time and the ease of posting on the web. However, nothing beats face to face events.

Companies are beginning to see the value in the face to face and try to get their folks to at least some events a year. For those have not been networking recently, here are some tips to remember:

1. Have a plan – Know who is attending and what success would look like after attending the event
2. Prepare a personal introduction including who you are, what you do and the benefits you bring customers
3. Bring plenty of business cards
4. Plan an ice breaker – an easy way to start a conversation – sports, movies or talk about a place you would like to know more about
5. Have fun
6. Bring a partner – a wing person – and take turns starting the conversation
7. Continue the relationship with those you like by following up soon after the event.

At a recent family event, several members sported political badges of the two opposing party nominees. It caused spirited conversations but many uncomfortable moments. This event was supposed to celebrate a milestone event bringing two families together!

A recent NYT article talks about folks going to therapists because of the presidential campaign. Folks are worried and anxious about this election. While I understand we all have the right to express our viewpoints, it would be nice to attend a joyous occasion and leave the politics at home. Remember the long standing etiquette rule: Never discuss politics or religion at an event!