Handling difficult feedback is important to overall success. Recently, I worked with a client who choose not to deal with this type of feedback. In fact, he never got upset but instead deflected the critical comments.

By disregarding the feedback, he displayed a blind spot large enough to hold him back in his career. Always listen to difficult feedback by focusing on the valid points and using it as a helpful tool in securing career success and encouraging personal development.

A firm handshake:
1. Creates a first-time bond
2. Starts a relationship
3. Enables the other person to begin to know you
4. Says confidence
5. Allows sharing of a personal space
6. Is usually the only time one touches another person at work

This firm handshake is the initiator of hopefully a fruitful relationship beginning.

Once, in the middle of a heated disagreement, instead of getting into a debate, I used silence. Silence caused the other person to pause. I’m not sure whether the debate was resolved but it did allow space for some discussion around other solutions.

Silence is wonderful tool in many ways. It creates time to listen. It can control or manage a situation and inject air in the room. Sometimes, a lot of chatter generates too much noise and prevents clear thinking. Silence helps all parties pause and ponder.

It is critical to get feedback and use it to strengthen a project or program. A client shared the three questions she asks her students in a class she teaches about feedback. The questions are simple, non-threatening, but very effective. They are:

– What would you like to start?
– What would you like me to stop doing?
– What would you like me to continue to do?

Recently, my office had new vents installed to accommodate a separate heating zone for the space. This means bookcases no longer rest against walls lest they block the vents. I decided that this was also the perfect time to purge my hundreds of books that included writings on leadership, speaking, color, fashion, etiquette, and communication.

It turns out it was not difficult even though I am a book junkie, retaining some tomes for more than 30 years! The ones that stayed included books by Tony Robbins, Simon Sinek, Dale Carnegie, and from a favorite, Steven Covey.

I also kept books on first impressions and favorite inspirational and organizational quotes. Gone were books that didn’t stand the test of time. Gone were old tapes from conferences, manuals, and hundreds of badges and keepsakes. After sorting it all out, I took 15 bags of books to a new home at the hospital thrift shop!

A fresh image projects itself when all apparel worn is pressed, stain free, and smells clean. Smells are easily picked up from the office and from restaurants. Have items professionally pressed or cleaned, especially when meeting clients or giving a presentation.

Good conversations while dining with a client are important in forging relationships. The main folks to focus on are the individuals to the right and left of you. If the noise level is low, include both parties in the discussion.

Refrain from conversing to someone directly across the table especially if the table sits ten. The rule is to never discuss religion, politics or intimate personal issues. If asked about any of these subjects, it is best to deflect and begin a new topic and always err on the inclusive side.

Always be aware of others in dining situations and eat at a pace the same as most of the diners. As a host, set a good example. Be the last to order and first to make suggestions.

At a recent event, some folks finished early and the waiter was sensitive enough not to take their dishes away. It is up to the person at the table to manage the flow of plates. If everyone is finished and you are not, instruct the waiter to take your plate away. Understanding these nuances will make more time for meaningful conversations.

Skin sensitivity has been an issue for me, so relying on cotton, rayon, and silk in clothing choices has been a life saver. I stay away from wools and wear heavier cotton knits and layered items. I select dresses with a high-end polyester combination. Putting on cotton and silk blouses and tops with suits adds a layer of protection to keep wool from contacting the skin.  Touching fabric will help determine its quality. It should be soft, not scratchy, and of a good weight.

People watching is fun. Trend setters determine what styles are being worn and how the clothing is put together. In a location with high income earners versus lower income areas, clothing choices are different. Lately, however, the ill fit of too tight, too short hem lengths in pants, sleeves, and skirts and clothing either too short or long is showing up in all areas.

To ensure a fit is correct, stand in front of a mirror and look at all the hems. Sleeves hems should slightly skim the palm of the hand. On pants without pleats, the hem should dip before it hits the top of the shoe. Following these guidelines means that clothing will always look elegant.